Just Be A Bitch....(so you're saying there's a chance?)

I think from what I've gathered on the whole separation thing that Men handle things like this in several ways. I've talked to so many people about this, and it seems to me there are several ways to deal with the hole in the middle of your chest that incarnates as a result of such a great loss. I'd like to share some of these, to start...

These things are all related to men, and their desire not to feel the pain and anguish anymore.

1. Men will drown their pain in as much alcohol as they can get their hands on. Some, that I have seen, and heard of, will never come back from this decision, deciding instead to become alcoholics, making their situation worse.

2. Men may turn to drugs. Drugs that are the mind and soul numbing kind. They want to take the pain away. Once the drugs are no longer in their system, they want to get more so that their pain is gone again. It keeps going this way, until they are dead or in rehab.

3. Men will seek out, and find broken women, and then they will sleep with them out of vengeance. They figure their future ex-wives are doing the same thing. Those future ex-wives who were caught cheating to begin with, thus the separation, a man will justify this action, or series of actions even more so. Those who are simply trying to get over her, will find themselves in dire need of more, but will eventually get tired of it. They will just build up a hatred and lack of respect for all females.



4. Men will simply go out a lot. They will go and get the attention they are missing by collecting phone numbers they will never call, interact with females who really don't care about knowing his name, or what he is going through. Men will go pretend to have fun, be a fun person, be a wealthy person, and act like they generally don't give a damn, when inside all their are is desperate.

Sometimes, men will combine a few if not all four of these ways to handle their pain and anguish.

Me, you ask? Well, 1 and 2 were not an option for me. Been there, done that. I was involved in the music industry for years, and 1 and 2 never had good outcomes. 3, well 3 at first glance doesn't seem all that bad. But the damage that is done to your vitality and your spirit, knocks huge holes inside, which can, in my opinion, never fully be recovered in this lifetime without the atonement of Christ.

So, my dealing, in the beginning, came from a variation of number 4.

For a while, I was going to clubs, bars Wednesday thru Sunday. Mainly Thursday thru Saturday. I love to sing. I love Karaoke a lot. It's what I have used to build confidence again. To build that "I don't give a damn" attitude that all women, for some strange reason, seem to capture the fascination of most womenfolk. I'd go to....

Bar Named Sue on Thursdays,

     Cheers To You on Fridays,

                                                                                                                      
                                                          Piper Down on Sundays.

  

                                                                              

Leaving Saturdays open for cocktail parties, or dancing somewhere fun. Some guys call that "cougar hunting"

Anyhow, I was going on this way for a few months. Singing. Socializing. Pretending for a few hours that there was nothing wrong with me. (By the way guys, we don't fool anybody, especially the women. They can see right through this ruse, because your scent permeates the room, of Au De Desperate) I'd sing my four songs, gather my numbers, and names, and still go home alone with the hole in my chest.

After cutting this circus down to 2 nights, I began to simply sing, and people watch. I started observing how this whole shark tank full of men and women swim, and how they interact together, and if any of it was relevant to a meaningful, potentially single life. One night in particular, made me come up with this blog title: Just Be A Bitch.

I was with my good friend Lexi at Bar Named Sue. Lexi had never come to see me perform, and she really wanted to get out, as she had been putting all of her energy into cutting hair and making men and women beautiful, haha. I usually start out with something really fun, for my first song. Something like Backstreet Boys - I Want It That Way is usually good, because it's disarming to see some manly-man looking guy up there committing to a song like that all the way. This makes the average female think the man in question, has balls of steel, or is gay. Either way, they are intrigued.

I came back to sit across from Lexi, and 4 girls made their way to our table to tell me what a great job I did. We began to all talk, and be social. My first impression of club girls for the most part is never a good one. I guess sometimes, I kinda hate on women in my heart, because most women remind me, in some way, of my wife. I guess what I am saying is, most beautiful, gaspingly attractive women I see, evoke memories of my wife, haha. The difference with these 4 being, that they were just girls, "cubs" or "coug's in training" as they are more commonly referred to.

Well after about 3 minutes of shallow bantering with the 4, I soon turned my attention back to my beer, and my Lexi, who was entertaining herself by talking to the 4 as well. I then witnessed 2 boys (also known as tool sheds) entering the picture with these 4 cubs. They began in with something about what one of the girls was wearing, (always a great, original entrance to conversation, with the coug in training, especially if you are complimenting them on how fantastic their ass looks in their True Religions) then they went for the kill, going right into what funny guys they can be. Sexual innuendo's spilling forth off of their silver plated tongues like the muffin topped figures, spilling over the girls overpriced denim. After about 5 minutes of this, I could tell that at least 3 of the four girls, although they continued to laugh, and humor the 2 boys, were totally over it, and un-impressed, by the whole thing.



Just then, one of the girls, the one who was the most engaging of the 4, was approached by what seemed to be her Affliction Shirt wearing male friend. She turned her back to the other 2 tool rentals, looked in Affliction guys direction, and mouthed the words "save us" to him. It was, at this point, that I felt the urge to intervene, and train the young "cubs" about a practice at bars, clubs that people like my friends who are girls have excelled at....

I walked up to the group and said, "Would you mind, if I gave you the best advice you will ever get from a man, regarding being saved?" They were like, "sure!" I said, "Just be a bitch!"

Girls, just be a bitch. If there are tool shed dude's trying to talk their way into a steamy interlude, with imaginations of getting you into their sweet Mitsubishi Eclipse, and on the road to their totally awesome condo in the Ave's, and you have no interest in carrying on a conversation with said tools for the next 30 minutes to an hour; Just be a bitch. And I mean, BE A BITCH. Simply ignoring a tool belt boy wont do. You have to look them right in the face, right into their eyes, and you have to say, with all of the tenor you can muster, "GO AWAY, I'M NOT INTERESTED."

Seriously. When I said just be a bitch to the girls in question, they were concerned about the guys considering it a challenge, and trying even harder to get them into their canary yellow Toyota Celica's for a night of steaminess, and a great breakfast in the morning. The reason they were still unsettled by what they felt my definition of "being a bitch" meant was simple; they don't know how to do it yet.

You have to take the average male and hit them right between the eyes with a sledge hammer. Testosterone is a hell of a chemical. Guys have that, "So you are saying there is a chance?" mentality. It's a fact! How many times have you given your phone number, hesitantly or otherwise, only to start getting texts every day from this guy, sometimes 2 or 3 or 10 times a day, which you diligently ignore? They don't take the hint. They are surely thinking there must be some reason you are not replying, other than you feeling that the guy is a total contraption cluster, and that he will be smart enough to take a hint after a week of this. GUYS: Side note to this banter, a good rule of thumb: If they don't reply after 3 attempts, you should DELETE THE FRIGGING NUMBER, AND MOVE ON!!! Seriously dude's, c'mon, stop being pathetic.

So anyway, that's all I have to say about that, to the cougar, the coug's in training, or the simply beautiful women out there in all shapes and sizes alike.....please, for the love of everything holy. Save yourselves all misery and pain in the ass-ed-ness there is and Just Be A Bitch. It's quite liberating, you'll see!

The End!