What Women want....

Men I wish I had somebody like me to slap me in the face. Somebody who could have shaken some sense into me about life, and love. Sometimes I feel like Red, in Shawshank Redemption, at his last interview with the parole board before he was released, when he expresses his feelings about if he could go back to that young kid he was, when he committed murder. Here is some dialogue, from this interview...

"Not a day goes by I don't feel regret, and not because I'm in here or because you think I should. I look back on myself the way I was...stupid kid who did that terrible crime...wish I could talk sense to him. Tell him how things are. But I can't. That kid's long gone, this old man is all that's left, and I have to live with that."
(Shawshank Redemption)

When we first meet a woman we are attracted to, we become students of their every move. We, as men, become wrapped up in what we have in common with them, what they love, what they hate, what turns them on, what turns them off. We go down that checklist we have in our minds, about what we want to know about them, (Just like that page in our fathers Play Boy Magazine next to the picture of that Playmate of The Month, that we never paid attention to, growing up, because nobody really "reads" anything in that magazine when they are a pubescent). We study everything about them, looking for those chinks in the walls they have built up inside themselves emotionally, through years of mental abuse from the men in their lives. And when a woman says they will never fall in love again, with another person, watch out! Men, consider that the greatest conquest, and challenge of all!

Yes men, we get into that mind set of vanquishing those barriers, and ballasts, a woman has set up with the mortar of disgust, and disappointment around the chambers of their bruised, and battered heart. Some of us will do this by acting like we just don't care. We'll act like we could care less if they love us or not, and we do it well. Some of us can't help but be more sensitive about our approach to this. We strive to break their bulkhead by being sentient man. However we, as men, inch towards our conquest of their heart the end goal is the same; to become one with them, to get inside them, physically, and mentally.

Now, when this magical spell we cast bares it's fruit, and we have perforated those barriers, and penetrated deep into the soft tissue of a woman's crux, and there is that sweet surrender, we feel an elation, and a victory, of sorts. We, as men, can then begin to enjoy what it is that every woman is all about, the very essence of their life force, and what they were built, bred, and put on this planet for; to love and to nurture mankind, and there is no other feeling like it in the world. To be truly loved and cared for by a woman, is to be in The Elysian Fields.

So what happens after that? You get married maybe. You have kids. You go to work, and she goes to work. In this day and age, you both focus on your careers, but she also focuses on the finances, the kids, the house, the condition of the yard, keeping your home in order, etc. What do we do, the typical male? We go to work. We come home, and the last thing we want to do is "talk" to anybody. Maybe we have a den or a basement we steal away to, where we can log onto X-Box Live, and play HALO 3 with our on-line buddy in Australia we wanted to be friends with because of his superior Warthog driving skills. Maybe we Get on line right away and check our emails. Maybe we just go smoke a bowl, and take a nap, until our kid comes downstairs and tells us that dinner is ready.

Sad, but true.

Men, here is my advice to you about what women want. This is me grabbing you men, by the throat, by the shoulders, and giving you shaken baby syndrome. It is pretty simple, and even if you have a "tiny little brain" like I have, you should be able to wrap your gray matter around this concept. What a woman wants, is your time. She shows you this all of the time, but what men do, is we get into this mind set, that all women want to do is control us, and take things away from us, like our time, like our sovereignty, and our love for World of Warcraft, or playing Magic with our nerdy D&D chums, or our dreams of being a professional golfer, or pool player. They are the ones who are preventing us from winning the World Series of Poker, right? Don't be a fool!

When she comes to you and stands there, with her arms folded, don't treat her like a vulture that is circling its prey, she wants something; acknowledge her. She wants some of your time. She remembers how much you claimed to be into her in the beginning. She surrendered to the idea, that she was the only one you cared about, thought about, dreamed about, and hungered for in the beginning of your pursuit to subjugate her inner being, remember? She does. You branded her resolve to yield. Greet her with a smile, with kindness. Look into her eyes, with interest, not like she just farted out loud in the middle of your business meeting. Be the loving man you tricked her into believing you really were, when you were trying so desperately to enter her soma.

When that goddess among women, materializes into your space, Stop what you are doing. Turn off your computer. Log off of the X-Box. Put down your model airplane. Kick your friends out of the house. Turn your phone off. Put your clubs down. Quit putting with your new putter. Stop blogging. Log off EverQuest. Turn off the Tevo'd episode of Grey's Anatomy. Quit smoking pot. Pour out the bottle of scotch. Keep the beer in the fridge, unless you offer her one, and give her the time she is asking you for, so desperately. And sometimes, make love to her like a cop, not a lawyer.

Women don't like to ask. You, as men, should already know. And although that is an entirely different subject altogether, the whole "mind reading" thing, it is still up to us to figure these things out, just like we tried to do, when they, that unstoppable force, met us, an immovable object, and we both collided.
Women don't like to feel desperate. They don't like to feel like they have done something wrong. After all, isn't that what their mother's job was when they were being domesticated? Our purpose, as men, should be to be impeccable with our word, never take anything personally, refrain from assuming, and doing the best we can every day to pay attention to the signs she gives us, in how she wants to feel loved, and appreciated by the man she raised the white flag to, all of those years ago.

I may be a total sap to you right now. You may think this is the most ridiculous thing you have ever perused through in your life, this pathetic bantering of a heartbroken middle aged man. I really don't give a damn. I'm just saying, you would be foolish not to at least learn from a fool. You may think that passing up on a few of these opportunities, your woman is opening up to you, and leave it alone once in a while. Think of it like this. That failure to act may be only as thin as say, a poker chip. Now every time you fail to meet your partners basic needs of time, and attention, is another chip stacked on top of the other. Times that by 20 years in a relationship; how tall can your stack of chips be, before they fall over, and you yell "Jenga!" Picking up the pieces sucks.

My "tiny little brain" hurts, and so does my heart. Men, read, remember, and honor your partners. Add years to your life.